The Tale of Freida Minos of the North
by Inudaughter Returns
Summary: Freida is the worst of warriors. On the verge of failing her shaman training, Freida finds and unseals a male Valkyrie love interest. Do they have those?
1. Chapter 1

Freida Minos the Viking was one of the smallest of all the Vikings. It was said that her father had been a sailor from a foreign land who had washed up on their shore as a youth, and like most sailors, hadn't fared well when he had gone to sea again and his second boat had sunk.

So it was that Freida was stuck with a less pale complexion, a more slender frame, and less busty chest. Worst of all was the fact that she wasn't as tough as her peers. All of her cousins and aunts laughed at her comparative daintiness.

"Freida must be the worst warrior around!" they complained at all the log-hurling tournaments. Freida did not like ale, she ate too many vegetables, and worse she cut meat off the bone instead of just tearing it off with her teeth. So at a loss of what to do with her, her aunts and uncles sent her to the Shaman.

"Please do something with her. Please!" Her guardian Milt had said after his sons had to rescue her from a pile of pawing sheep. Even animal husbandry seemed beyond her ken.

"Very well," said Shaman Jorgreg. He was tired of meditating on the spirit realm anyway. That and he could use someone to collect the eggs from the chicken coops. "Send Freida Minos to me." So her relatives packed a bag full of extra wool, furs, thread, and bone-needles for Freida. They put her on a boat and rowed her round the other side to the isle on which they all lived. Then they climbed its largest hill to find Shaman Jorgreg.

"Please teach Freida how to use magic," they begged. So Freida stayed.

Many winters passed. Freida Minos was now a warrioress twenty-five winters old. Her hair was long and willowy when let out of its tresses for washing, but ordinarily it was bound up in leather braids to make make brunnette, u-shaped knot behind her head. Freida made her boots herself from animal hides she had tanned. Her gown, too, she had woven on a loom from the wool of wild sheep she had snared on the mountain's highest meadow. But for her warrior's armor and helm, Freida wore a chainmail vest and a battered helmet she had found hidden amongst the gnarled roots of an elm tree. Freida carried with her, also, a staff of knobbly sacred-tree wood such as all druid mages use, for she had been apprenticed to Shamen Jorgreg to learn spells. But the unhappy truth was that Freida had mastered none of them. She had only a small gift of magic- enough to start a campfire but not enough to throw fireballs. So it was that Freida seemed destined to be a housekeeper for all eternity.

"Freida!" Master Shaman Jorgreg grumbled as he tottered out of his chair and looked down to see where he had gotten himself wet when he had fallen asleep and his drinking horn had spilt on him. Like all Viking warriors, the Shaman prided himself in drinking copious cups of mead although he was far from any king's hall.

"Freida!" her instructor yelped. "Come here, girl! Do you have your weapon on you, Freida?"

"Yes, Shaman," Freida acknowledged with solemness. Shamen Jorgreg pulled his fingers through his beard.

"Good! Alright girl! I have a task for you!

"Make an omelet?" Freida asked. Because that was what she did every morning. Make the old Shaman his breakfast.

"Not just any omelet!" Jorgreg blurted out. Out of the blue, his face had taken on an excited lividness instead of its usual strained patience. "Girlie, I just saw a small hen dragon fly over the hill! So go on over there to the top of the mountain and look for a dragon egg, will you? It's been over a decade since I've had dragon-egg omelet surprise! I'd go myself but I'm old and my feet won't keep my footing if I scale the cliffs," the old man muttered in mock lament.

"A dragon?!" Freida blurted out. "I can't fight a dragon for its egg! I'll die!"

"Oh, nonsense!" Shaman Jorgreg muttered out. "The hen dragon can't be any bigger than an ox! If it bothers you, just bash its skull with the top of your staff! That's what you always do! It's not quite magic, but it works, doesn't it? Oh, and stay away from the Cursed Isle!"

"Right. Sure. I'm certain that technique will work on a dragon," Freida said leaning on her trusty staff but not believing a word of it. She narrowed her eyes at the old man.

"Now go on Frieda!" Master Jorgreg said shooing her away with a wave. "This will be a good test of your magic! If you haven't learned some by now, you never will. Go on!" Freida reluctantly left the cottage.

Tangling with a hen dragon seemed like a way to invoke certain death. But Freida was nearly bored to death living on a mountaintop with a cranky old man, anyway. So she snuck towards the side of the mountain where the mountainside fell away, not in one long leisurely slope as on the southern side, but on its northernmost tip. There, the land fell away as one gigantic cliff where the ocean eroded the landed away from below in one white wall of crashing waves. On the crumbling cliffside were ledges and on one of these ledges, birds like to land to build their nests. Apparently, dragons did, too, because a stout-nosed green dragon as big as a bull had taken up residency on one of the large cliffs. The difference was, that instead of rocks or sticks, the dragon had built its nest out of the bones and skulls of humans. Freida shuttered at the sight. But then she peered down at it with ferocity. She did, after all, have her trusty staff with her and it was true she had managed to dispatch large beasts with it before by channeling a small bit of magic into it. But mostly it was by sheer strength she had dispatched her foes. After all, her work of chopping firewood and dispatching demon-possessed wolves from the chicken coop had helped her to develop biceps so burly that she might have been a sailor lad.

Still, to play it safe, Freida tossed a pebble down the slope with hopes the dragon might go after it. The beast craned its head away. But then, nostrils flaring, it twisted its head around towards Freida. It lifted itself off its nest and lumbered up the slope to level ground. Freida plastered herself behind a rock. Then, eyebrows lowering, Freida prepared to launch herself from behind her hiding place as the hen dragon's large scaly feet reached the soft green turf of level ground.

"Ya-ya-ya-yahhh!" Freida called out in an imitation to one of the warrior berserkers of her old village. "Glory or Valhalla!" which was to say, glory or their version of heaven.

It was not as though Freida intended to go to the Viking heaven, however. She tried. Despite her efforts, her heavy, bludgeoning strokes were avoided by the nimble dragon. When Freida did manage to land a hit, her wooden staff simply snapped against it brow. Freida paused, dumbstruck.

"Oh," Freida muttered out as dread embraced her heart. Then she did a very un-Viking-like thing. She ran. Hopping and stumbling, she swung herself down a stony-trail. She ran south along the face of the cliff-precipice, back towards the more pleasant part of the island, but still winding down to the shore. Freida dodged behind trees as she sprinted, the hen dragon knocking the trees over in her rage. Yet, somehow, Freida managed to keep ahead.

"Bahh!" a lost sheep belted out, happy to find a friendly human in the wilderness. Perhaps she would lead it home to a nice warm barn? But Freida simply scooped the hapless sheep up and tossed it at the dragon to collide with its back. "BAAH?!" the sheep yelped out as the dragon shook a favored food off its neck to continue its pursuit of Freida.

Freida gained the waters of the bay and dove into the cove that hugged the island's west. The village she had been born in was not far from here, being on the southern-most tip of the cove. Maybe, by chance, she could make to a nearby fisherman's boat? Freida anticipated that the dragon would stop its pursuit of her when she entered the water, but it entered the water in a soggy splash.

"Odin's bowels!" Freida cursed out loud. She heaved herself back up the shorebank in a soggy splash. A discarded sword lay on an island and she leapt forward to grasp hold of it.

"Hey! Stay off the Cursed Isle!" an observant fisherman shouted out at Freida. By the looks of it, he had no intention of coming between Freida and the dragon. Freida stood her ground on a tiny island with a tiny circle of upturned stones.

"Raaawr!" the dragon said. As it snapped for Freida, she snapped the front of the blade against its nose. This time, the small green dragon hissed and recoiled as a brilliant blue light of magic illuminated the sword. With a hiss, the dragon slunk away back towards the nesting cliffs.

"Wow! I can use magic!" Freida shouted with joy. She looked at the glowing blue sword in her hand. But then she heard a voice.

"No you can't actually!" the voice said. A red-headed youth spoke while sitting cross-legged in the damp sand. "That's MY magic powering the sword! Magic as good as this doesn't come from mortals!"

"And just who are you?" Freida grimaced at the young man.

"I'm Orveon. I've dwelt here on the island for decades. Well, since I've been stuck here."

"Why are you stuck here?" asked Freida.

"I can't get back to Valhalla. There hasn't been a winged horse on this island since Selphy got eaten by a sea monster. I could get back, probably, if I found my brothers. But they are cursed and sealed on another island."

"Sounds tragic! Well, thanks for saving me. Can I keep the sword if you're not using it? It's cool. And a little better than a wooden stick."

"No," said Orveon. "That's not a toy for morals! That's a Valkyrie sword."

"So that means you're a Valkyrie? That makes it even more valuable! I'll bet I could sell it for three whole flocks of sheep!" Freida said admiring the blade even more.

"No you can't because it's mine!" grumbled Orveon. "But you can keep it if you do something for me. You can have the sword only if you unseal my brothers and help us find a magic horse to return home."

"So hang around some burial mounds!" Freida complained. "Winged horses and Valkyries hang out there all the time, or so the saying goes."

"Have there been any battles around here?" Orveon asked.

"No, not for a long time," said Freida. "This is fisherman country. All the warriors are on the mainland. If people die here, we chuck 'em in the ocean for the sea monster to eat."

"That goes against all Valkyrie tradition," Orveon complained. "No wonder there are no other Valkyries are around here."

"Oh, too bad. But the fishermen here are practical folk. Burial mounds take a whole army to make. That's too much work."

"Um-hum," said Orveon, thinking hard.

"Well, you look like you are a bit of a mage. You are wearing Shaman amulets around your neck and in your hair. Are you in training, then?"

"I am but I haven't really been successful in it," admitted Freida. "Why? IS there a way you can make me really be a Shaman?"

"Not directly," said Orveon. "But if you make a pact with me, then I could use my magic to enhance your own."

"But I wouldn't really be a Shaman would I?" asked Freida.

"It's not cheating if you have a blessing from a divine source, is it? " said Orveon. "The Valkyrie prefer the term, 'blessed warrior'. That's what our job is, to determine who lives and dies on the battlefield."

"You also take souls to the afterlife," observed Freida. "Creepy!"

"Not all of us are born human," Orveon grumbled.

"And Valkyries talk to ravens. Also creepy," observed Freida.

"Am I to blame for your sense of decorum?" Orveon asked. "Maybe you're just jealous you can't talk to crows!"

"Hm," said Freida looking at Orveon. She observed his clothes made of a cloth as featherlight as a swan's feathers. He was golden-armed with a fine sun-tan. He had a white throat and sparkling blue eyes.

"Hm!" observed Freida, speaking her thoughts out loud. "You remind me of that old poem about Valkyries."

"Which one? The Helgakvioa Hundingsbana?"

"That's the one," Freida nodded. "And if my memory is correct," said Freida admiring Orveon's butt with bit of drool hanging from the corner of her mouth. "Then if you want to make a pact with me, then I can demand something in return! I want you to be my boyfriend!"

"Really?" Orveon declared as he threw up his hands in disgust. "If I have to make a pact like that it has to be with a girl who looks like a flat-chested boy? Odin must really hate me! Fine, then, I'll be your boyfriend if you succeed in the quest. But I reserve the right to get a makeup box for you."

"What's makeup?" Freida wondered.

"Well, that explains a lot!" said Orveon. "And while we're at it, let's get you out of the used men's clothing line and get you into a gown befitting of a Valkyrie. I can hardly stand looking at your rags any longer."

"Hey, I made these clothes myself!" Freida barked out. But new clothes didn't sound too bad to her, either.


	2. Chapter 2

It was time to find Freida some new clothes. But finding celestial raiment wasn't a simple matter, especially for a stranded Valkyrie. So Orveon led the two of them to another portion of the northern cliffs which made taking on the hen dragon look easy-peasy.

"Psst!" Orveon said pointing to a pair of wave-swept rock islands surrounded by whirlpools and shrieking lightening eels. On the broad archway of the island there was another nest, this time belonging to a creature just as bad or worse as a dragon.

"A harpy?!" Freida stumbled with doubt. "Oh, no! You know what they say! Where there's one harpy there's three hundred! No way I'm going to tangle with a flock of harpies!"

"What? Are you afraid to tear your clothes? Don't be timid, you have a Valkyrie on your side!"

"Just WHAT would you have me do?" Freida said in much doubt.

"Oh, just swim past all those deadly eels and whirlpools to get some harpy feathers. Then I can use my magic to spin them into cloth for clothing you can be proud of."

"Um, no. How about you fly us both there? I assume since you have wings on your helmet and boots you can manage that much at least."

"Pfft, if you take the easy route, you'll never become legendary! But okay. Get on," Orveon said jerking a thumb towards his back. Freida looped her arms around his neck. Orveon lifted upwards off the ground vertically just a few feet, then shifted forward as smoothly as if he were a chess piece being shuffled forward by some divine hand. Freida hopped down off Orveon's back to draw her weapon. The sword she had borrowed lit with a divine blue glow, presumably Orveon's doing. But despite the magical aid, Freida still felt unnerved.

She had reason to be. A human-like face twisted in Freida's direction. The creature attached to the face lifted itself off the nest and spread it wings and talons wide menacingly. But most of the beast had the body of a bird, with exception of the face and some completely bared breasts. Freida blushed scarlet red at the sight of harpy's bouncing boobs.

"Alright! Time to fight!" Orveon said unbuttoning his coat to toss it to the ground. Freida gaped and nearly fell over. Orveon was wearing some clothes that were very scanty for a male. It seemed that he was wearing a thong and a one-piece. His entire midriff was bare. But unblinkingly, Orveon placed one of his feet forward and pulled one fist up for a dramatic, super-hero pose. With his legs spread so wide apart, Freida could see nearly everything.

"Gah! Please put that coat back on. For me?" Freida begged as she tried not to faint away at the sight.

"Why? This is the traditional armor for real Valkyries!"

"Urk!" Freida said. But as the angry Harpy swooped down, Freida kept her eyes half shut as she swung the sword wildly. She hit the fluttering and flapping harpy once as it dived, but then the harpy caught on and kept just far away enough to keep out of reach of Freida's sword. Then it circled her from behind and knocked her forcefully with its claws. Freida fell face-forward towards the ground, expecting to collide with it. But the Valkyrie Orveon caught her. Rearranging her quickly, he scooped her up behind the knees and flew off the island with her back towards the mainland.

"Wow, that didn't go well," said Orveon. "Are you sure you're a Viking?"

"Hey, don't blame me!" Freida spat, still blushing. "We lost because of you!"

"You are just angry because you lost!" Orveon bantered back, narrowing his eyes.

"No, I'm angry because you stripped during our battle!"

"It's not stripping," sniffed Orveon. "Like I said, Valkyries always dress like this."

"Stupid tradition. It doesn't protect you. It only makes you look like a clown."

"Well, you still failed to land a hit. And lost. That was your fault, not mine.

"Except I wouldn't have lost like that if you didn't distract me!"

"I take it you haven't spent much time with others, being holed up on the mountain. Otherwise, it wouldn't have been such a shock."

"Um, no! Of course I'm still a maiden."

"Well, let's try a different sort of enemy, then," Orveon said smugly. "Over there!" he pointed to a den. It took twenty minutes to walk down the mountainside to reach it, but it looked like a wolf's den. Freida stepped inside with the magic sword raised.

"Oh, hello?" Freida called out. Something growled, then howled from within the cave. Then a new monster burst out. It walked on it knuckles on two huge arms and had tiny hooved feet. The black, furry monster shook its mane then reared to its full height. From this new angle, Freida could see that the monster was distinctively male. Its waist was at her eye level so there was no way to avoid looking at things Freida's modest eyes had never noticed before.

"Shit!" Freida yelled before running away out of the cave.

"Not funny, Orveon!" Freida snapped. "Not funny at all!"

"Well, you'll have to get over being shy," Orveon advised. "And now you know why female enemies are easier," Orveon said with a wink.

"Hmph!" Freida grumped. "Well, fine! Let me at that harpy again! I think THAT I can handle at least. But can we trade clothes, first?"

It took a lot of convincing and raging, but at long last, Freida swapped her clothes for Orveon's scanty armor and more proper coat. Freida's wool cloth coat fit Orveon snugly so that she could still see the outline of his muscular torso. But at least the Valkyrie looked better in the clothes than she had. The true Valkyrie had kept his magic helmet and boots since these were priceless to him.

"Let's try this again!" Orveon sang out with a fist pumped high. Freida grabbed hold of him round the neck and they flew over to the island. Soon they had harvested a whole flock's worth of harpy feathers.

"Good!" said Orveon. "I'll make use some good, err, non distracting clothes and then we can make a boat to go find my brothers!"

"And how did they end up being sealed?" Freida wondered.

"I don't know!" said Orveon. "Sometimes Valkyries are punished by Odin for taking human lovers and they're sealed for that reason, but it sounded to me like it wasn't him! I just know what the ravens have been able to learn."

"So why are you here instead of with them?" Freida asked Orveon.

"Well, sometimes I get distracted doing other things," explained Orveon. "I like to spy on mortals, read scrolls, tame horses, that sort of thing. I wake up early in the morning to see the sunrise. But my brothers like to stay up late all night. They like to play a fun Valkyrie game with dice, chips, and live chipmunk in a running wheel. Sometimes they forget me entirely and leave me behind. That's what happened that day. I went to bed at about sunset and when I woke up, I found the Viking longboat we'd been using had been unmoored and was missing. Then I received missives from some ravens saying that my brothers had been defeated by a powerful foe and sealed within a ring of stone."

"Um," said Freida thinking deeply. "So Odin might not like it if a Valkyrie takes a human lover?" she pondered.

"If he doesn't give permission, it's a no-go!" Orveon explained gravely. "But there have been a few mortals and Valkyries who have gotten married. The mortal just has to slay a vast army to prove themselves first.

"Oh, pooh!" said Freida. "This whole girlfriend/ boyfriend thing might not work out!"

"Let's just roll with it for now!" said Orveon offering his hand to Freida. When she had given it to him, he scooped her up behind the knees to fly them back towards the mainland. For now they had a very practical problem to deal with. Where would they find a good boat?


	3. Chapter 3

Where would a Valkyrie and penniless warrioress get a boat? They thought long and hard on the question.

"Hm, I have it!" Orveon said so loudly it startled some ravens away. "Instead of harvesting the wood for the boat we need, how about we buy one instead? All we have to do is steal some Viking treasure from the Jotuns."

"Why would Jotuns have Viking gold?" Freida wondered. "They trade with rocks, not gold. And Vikings get their gold from stealing it from people on the continent to the south."

"That's true!" said Orveon cheerfully. "But Jotuns like to kill Viking warriors who have lots of gold. Sometimes they toss all that Viking treasure, armor, and weapons into a cave somewhere before they dispose of the bodies where the ravens and Valkyries will find them. So if we go to a place infested with Jotuns, we can find some things the Jotuns stole- er a second time!"

"Can I keep some of the gold for some sheep?" said Freida. "When I retire from this whole warrior's bit, I'd like to be a steadholder."

"Why don't you go steal some sheep from some sissy kingdom like everyone else?" said Orveon.

"Er, no. Don't feel like it," said Freida. "Burning and pillaging villages is just plain mean. "

Orveon and Freida followed Orveon to the center of the island. At its heart, a deep glacial fjjord wrinkled the landscape. The sun struck the tree-lined valley at some parts of the day. But during others, it was nearly pitch-black inside because of the shade the steep cliffs cast on the forest concealed inside.

"Good old-fashioned monsters!" Orveon grinned. "Do you wanna wrestle some bears after this for fun?"

"No," snapped Freida. "Do you Valkyries ever do anything else than do battle for fun?"

"Er, not much! Or too much rather!" Orveon coughed. "But a feast that lasts for eternity does get rather boring after a while. Coming down to the human world to find trouble is much more fun than swimming in mead. After the first or second time the excitement kinda wears off."

"So what DO you like doing, Orveon?" Freida asked. She narrowed her eyes and kept a curled fist against her fist as they pressed low against a rocky ledge to get a better view of the landscape around them.

"Sketching dragons. Braiding horses' manes. Eating honey-coated grain treats. Er, what else?" said Orveon thinking. He counted off his fingers.

"Flying above the ravens. Fishing. Collecting different varieties of puffins for my secret ice-cave. Listening to bards sing at events and taverns. Riding on the backs of whales just for the heck of it. When they are in the mood to surface, I like to hop off one then the other to see how long I can stay on before they dive. I also enjoy letting rabbits out of traplines every once in a while. It's hysterical when the trappers find I swapped it for a walking plant monster instead. Those things spit acid like crazy."

"I take it you're not much like other Valkyries," Freida observed. "You like living too much."

"Yes, I'm not as formal as I need to be sometimes," said Orveon. "And unlike my brothers, I have hobbies besides collecting battleaxes. But speaking of formalities, there is something I need to do," said Orveon. He cleared his throat and traded his casual, relaxed pose for kneeling. He thumped one gauntlet-covered wrist against his chest and bowed.

"I will follow you to the end of your path, I will share your tent, partake in the joy of your victories, and the bitterness of defeat! I will aide you in battle until your day of death. Do you accept?"

"Woah!" Freida said scooting away and blushing. "That seems like pretty serious vow to me! Share my tent?! Not so fast you!" Freida mocked. She pointed up at Orveon's nose as if to scold him.

"It's the traditional oath," groused Orveon. "You don't have to read too much into it. Blushing maiden." The boy said more gruffly.

"Right!" Freida huffed with relief. While she was attracted to Orveon, everything was going too fast for her.

"Fine! I accept!" Freida ground out, blushing. "We will fight together, for glory or Valhalla."

"That is the spirit befitting an ally of a Valkyrie!" Orveon cheered. "So, you go first. There are only a dozen Jotun or so."

"You really do want me to die, don't you?" hissed Freida.

"Er, that'd be a good way for me to get out of my vow, but no," said Orveon with all seriousness. "Don't worry, I'll back you up!" With a little misgiving, Freida approached the valley filled with giants of the north.

After a bit of tough hiking downhill across rough slopes, Freida caught her breath in the shady forest of the valley. Descending hundreds of feet below where she had started from, the sun in the canopy overhead was just a mere pinprick- a glimmer in the corner of the eye. The woods around her were silent, even of ravens.

Freida felt nervous. Darkness deepened as the sun slid past the overhang of the overhead cliff. Growing yet more tense with an absence of sun, Freida slunk behind a sizable boulder. She walked around the rock, then skittered back in alarm. Torchlight had met her eye. There was a stout palisade wall ahead, lit with barrels of oil and an even brighter bonfire at the center of the village square. Houses made from timber and hide clustered in a palace-sized but modestly constructed village. Enormous figures loomed within the palisade walls.

"Let's climb higher into the rocks!" Orveon hissed. "Look there on the ledge above! That looks like a strong warrior to fight!" Orveon said pointing out one particular Jotun. Freida grimaced.

"Um, let's try to sneak around him instead!" she said scrambling for higher terrain. Freida climbed up the mountain. With her gloved hands and booted feet she scaled the rock face. Up and up, she climbed. Then Freida shimmied sideways to achieve a good lookout perch. This perch was a large ledge gashed into the knees of the mountain. From there, Freida good get a good view of what the bulky Jotun warrior might be guarding. He kept watch over a road in the valley but he kept a comfortable camp. There was a small hut lined with warm bear pelts, a banked fire, and a bountiful spring spilling into a cistern. But more interesting to Freida, amongst beautiful, bountiful blue flowers and long-stemmed green grass, an enormous treasure chest could be seen.

"Oh! Gold! Goodie!" Freida thought out loud to herself. Practically drooling, she dropped softly onto the soft earth and cracked open the chest. No one had bothered to lock it, and Freida bit her fingers to stop from giggling in delight.

"With this gold I would definitely buy some sheep!" Freida giggled as she stuffed handfuls of gold coins and rings in the box into a bag.

"We need a boat, not sheep!" Orveon whispered back.

"Don't be so stingy!" Freida snapped, narrowing her eyes. She tied a knot at the top of her small sack of loot to secure it, then threw the bag over her shoulder.

"Aren't you going to fight the warrior?" Orveon whined.

"No. Why should I? Sneak, sneak, sneak!" Freida whispered to herself for encouragement. Se gazed back over her shoulder. But effectively, there was no way back up the way she had come. Freida tried to scale the cliff face one-handed but gave up, panting. The bag of gold was just too heavy to lift.

"Orveon? You carry this!" Freida hissed. But she looked ahead of herself just in time to see Orveon hovering before an enormous Jotun warrior.

"Hey you!" Orveon announced to the Jotun cheerfully.

"We're stealing your treasure! Do you want us to keep it? No? Then fight, fight, fight!" Orveon shouted out as cheerfully as if he had been invited to a tavern gathering. Freida dropped the bag of gold and really whirled around.

"You really hate me now don't you?"

"Hey, you're a Viking warrior!" Orveon shrugged. "Act like one. Go for the glory!" With a grimace Freida ripped her borrowed weapon from its sheath.


	4. Chapter 4

Lightning magic empowered Freida's sword as she held it up in front of the Jotun. Freida grimaced. "Come on pal, if you're smart you'll back down." Instead, the angry Jotun ran forward and tried to use an axe to cleave Freida in two. But the girl took a nimble leap backward by first crouching on her muscular thighs, followed by rolling powerfully off her heels to the front of her foot, then using her tightly coiled muscles to launch herself backwards in one great big spring.

"Hey, hey! Don't do that!" Freida complained. She walked backwards five steps but kept herself facing her enemy, as was wise. Freida had some faint hope of reconciliation with the Jotun until Orveon appeared hovering over her shoulder like a divine demon.

"Hey, look, Freida!" Orveon pointed into the distance. "The whole village has come to challenge you!" Orveon said in delight.

"You have real issues, don't you?" Freida bit out with a frown. Within minutes, a whole dozen Jotun arrived on thundering feet. As one, they swung at Freida with one great, orchestrated chop of their enormous bronze axes. Freida had no choice but to swing her sword in a wide arc around her in one last desperate plea to live. The lightning magic in the sword crackled and left smoking ruin in the wake of Freida's swing.

"Wahooo!" Orveon sang out hovering over the pile of bodies. "That was an exciting battle! An extra bonus of ruin!"

"Like I said, you have real issues," said Frieda. Turning away from Orveon, she hefted her pirated (or rather Vikinged) bag of gold over her shoulder.

"Oh come on," Orveon pleaded for compassion. "If you were a grim reaper, too, you'd understand. After a time, the shift veil between life and death kind of gets dull and repetitive. Everyone bores me by dying exactly the same way."

"Is that so?" sniffed Freida. "Well, it's not like I care. So long as I don't die, I'm happy."

"Cowardice isn't going to keep you safe all the time either," observed Orveon. "It's a dangerous world. As a Viking, you should understand that sometimes the path to success is to be the most dangerous one out there."

"Hm. There is a certain validity in that argument," Freida said turning to give Orveon her full attention. "So what now?"

"Now that we have a bag of gold, we can buy a ship!" Orveon beamed. "And since you're such a bug about it, we'll buy you some sheep!"

"Only the best will do!" Freida shook a finger sternly at Orveon to emphasis her words.

"Only the best!" Orveon promised. "Now would you like a ride?"

"Nn-ha," Freida hesitated before she shrugged. "It's better than carrying this bag of gold by myself, I guess," she said before allowing Orveon to scoop her up from behind the knees to carry her. She had to lean back slightly and grasp Orevon's shoulder to do so.

Freida and Orveon flew all the way to a smoky, sea-salted village on the coastline to buy a boat. Orveon disguised himself in more subdued wool coat of green to barter for a boat with a retiring fisherman. It was no Viking longboat, but Orveon fixed that some by procuring a fierce boat ram-head off of a sunken vessel which lay collapsing in the shallows of the bay. When Orveon had fixed this functional weapon and adornment to their ship, and when they had shooed six fine, fluffy, mixed-color sheep onto the rear of the boat, they set out across the sloping waves.

"Where are we going Orveon?" Freida asked her companion as she drank from a flask of water which always hung from a leather strap at her hip. "I don't have more than week's supplies for myself! We'll have to land eventually!"

"Just over the straight," Orveon nodded at the horizon as he kept his hand on the steering paddle for the rudder. "My brothers are on an island there, or so the ravens say."

"Ah," Freida said before settling herself down in the bottom of the boat for a nap. She unwound her tightly braided hair and spread it to lay out all around her in a radiant halo of brown. Orveon blinked down at the girl a she napped with a warm smile. Their ship glided faithfully through the waves. Then Orveon heard the crunch of wood and the cries of sheep.

"My sheep!" Freida freaked out, yanking her long locks of hair in anguish as she stared at the ruffling waves all around them. One of the ewes was missing. The waves grew still, and then, with a woosh a cascade of water sprayed all of them as a sea serpent reared it head up above the water. Freida was dwarfed in its shadow as it lifted its head. But she was too angry to feel fear.

"Oh, no! You're not going to eat my sheep!" Freida wrathed. She pulled her sword out of its sheath and held up one hand, gathering magic within it.

"Stun!" Freida zapped the monster's nose as it moved its jaw to snap her. Then, hurdling its teeth into its jaw, Freida disappeared into its maw. There came a ripping sound as Freida cleaved through its head from the inside. The sea serpent collapsed into halves, dangling at the edge of the boat. Freida kicked her way from the inside through the gash she had made.

"Oh, fish!" Orveon chuckled as Fredia emerged and kicked the dead serpent a few more times for good measure. "Why thank you! This should be enough to both of us to eat!"

"You think?" Freida said pushing her now slimy hair out of her face.

"Yup!" Orveon said wrinkling up his nose. He scooped up a bucketful of seawater from the cold ocean and unceremoniously dumped it on Freida's head. Then he offered Frieda a block of soap from his pocket.

Frieda still had five of her sheep left in the wake of the sea serpent's attack. They also had an abundance of seafood to eat, so they kept a fire in a metal pot on the ship and smoked and ate fish until they could eat no more. Then on the horizon, a tiny island could be made out. Freida stood up and squinted at it.

"Is that where we are going?" the girl said.

"Yes," Orveon said, his tone dropping to more seriousness than usual. "We'll soon find out what happened to my kin."

The boat they rode slid up onto a gravel beach with a crunch. Orveon and Freida carried it up out of the reach of the tide, uncaring if the sheep they had brought with them ran wild. It was a small island. They could always round up later is they so chose.

The sheep ran away with a merry bound, but Freida and Orveon walked up to a series of stones at the crest of the hill on the island's center. At Orveon's approach, a circle of magic spread out from around his feet to flow into the soil. There was an angry crackle from single tombstone. It smoked as if on fire.

"Freida, please break the stone!" Orveon directed. "It is something I can not do!"

"Well, I'll do it as a favor," Freida agreed sullenly. "But don't forget you owe me for this!"

Freida smacked the stone with Orveon's sword. It only clanged against the stone and sent shockwaves of pain through Freida's arm. Ramming in more gently, with the pummel, Freida had no more success. So, after putting the sword away, Freida kicked the tombstone instead. She kicked it repeatedly, then forced her shoulder against it. Freida used a weathered post to dig a bit off soil away from the tombstones face, and with a further shove, it popped loose from the hole where it had been shallowly anchored. Freida struggled with all her might to drag the rock to the edge of the hill, then dropped it roll off the cliff by force of gravity. When she had done so, the light around Orveon's feet dissipated. Three spirits began to take shape on the hillside instead.

"Thank you brave and valiant war…." one of the three, armor-clad figures spoke. Then his praise stuttered to stop. "What, wait who are you?"

"She's the warrior who rescued you of course!" said Orveon standing in front of Freida before his brothers. He had pressed Freida slightly aside as she did so, and now Freida blinked up at him as Freida crossed his arms and glared at his brothers as though they had deeply offended him.

"I thought Vikings were supposed to be men. Not chicks," one of Orveon's brother sniffed. All three were stout, with bands of muscles girdling their chest like a lion's. They also a lion's mane of hair and enormous battleaxes, much unlike Orveon's lender but expertly crafted sword.

"She is a warrior!" Orveon argued.

"Oh, really, willow-snip?" one his brothers chuckled. "Last time I checked women were not warriors among Viking."

"Uninformed, biased opinion!" Orveon sniffed. "It happens! And Freida is the greatest woman-warrior alive!"

"And I thought Valkyries were the ones supposed to be chicks," Freida rolled her eyes.

"But how did all three of you get sealed under a rock?" asked Orveon. "Even drunk, you couldn't have done that to yourself."

"No, willow-snip," one of the three towering Valkyries sniffed, rubbing his gold beard. "No mead in of all Valhalla can do that. It was an enemy."

"An enemy here on this island?" Orveon questioned. He tipped his head to the side as he considered this.

"A former friend. You see, we all were having fun with some our mead, cards, our-dice-roller run by our talking chipmunk. But our former friend got drunk and let the chipmunk get away from its wheel. We had to take to throwing bones instead, and it turns out the ones we offered to use were enchanted so they always fell a certain way. One thing led to another and we had a brawl. Our former friend called an army of his fellow monsters and they sealed us under the stone."

"That's quite an interesting tale, brothers," said Orveon, his eyebrow twitching. "But now that you are freed, you can all return to Valhalla can't you?"

"Return to the spirit realm? No brother! Now we go to storm the monsters in their castle!" another one of Orveon's brothers complained. "The monsters stole all our armor and weapons as they threw our beaten forms into the grave. But we could not be slain with our deathless bodies! And so we were sealed by powerful magics instead."

"The monsters have shamans among them?" Orveon wondered.

"Not at all unlike humans," Orveon's third, towering brother said. "Nicer, actually."

"You're planning on storming a castle?" Orveon asked in order to clarify.

"Aye. It is a short sail from here."

"Ah, but your boat has been stolen or sunk, brothers!" Orveon said. "I do not see one on the island anywhere."

"Then lend us passage on your boat, Orveon!" one his tall, stout brothers demanded in a booming voice. "We will recapture our boat later, after our armor."

"Very well," said Orveon rolling his eyes. "We weigh anchor immediately." Frieda blinked.

"Ah! But my sheep! We will have no room for my sheep!" Freida fretted. If these others took up room on the boat, there would be no room for her sheep.

"Dear, Freida, I promise to buy you some others," Orveon pleaded for truce. Freida it her lip. She trudged miserably to the boat and wrapped her cloak around her to keep out the sea-salt spray.

It was every bit a short sail as Orveon's brothers had promised. A castle- tall, gray, and stout clung to cliff-face unsaleable except by birds. But beneath it lay a darkened cove. Orveon's eldest brother steered the ship straight into a port hidden in a tunnel of stone. Freida felt fearful of the darkness until she realized there were blinking lanterns of all colors everywhere. Before them lay a port populated by monsters. If it was not Freida's imagination, she heard music playing. She stared at the monster workmen as they rolled barrels on the docks.

"Let's park here," said Orveon as their boat slid to rest at the docks. Everyone leapt out of the boat. "Now which way is it?"

"I think it's this way!" said Freida pointing to a signpost which read, "castle".

"Oh, your woman is an expert monster tracker!" one of Orveon's brothers praised as the two looked moderately uncomfortable at his turn of phrase. Nonetheless, they pressed on. They trod through the monster town and up a long path until they broke out into the sunshine at the top of the cliff. The entrance to the castle lay just ahead.

"Aha-ha!" Orveon's brother guffawed as he stood by a "tours daily" sign. "This is the place!"

Orveon's brothers charged the door and rushed into the throne room of the castle. They ignored everyone and everything they ran by no matter how curious or complex. They arrived in the throne room which was draped entirely in white. Flowers and paintings of kittens lined the walls. But the floor was paved in human skulls. Perhaps they made good tile.

"Pik-poka!" a tiny king of the monsters said. He had gray, wrinkled skin, black, beady eyes, a tiny crown, and a toy-sized magical staff.

"Pik-kow!" the annoyed monster king squeaked while pointing the staff in the direction of the Valkyries. The king and Valkyries all "pik" and "pocked" at each other for several minutes.

"Ugh, this argument is going to go on for hours!" Orveon griped. "I have a better solution."

"What's that?" Freida asked. With a mischievous grin, Orveon grasped Freida's hand and drew her out of the shadows of a curtain.

"A Viking! Look, a Viking has broken in!" Orveon shouted. Hand still entwined with Orveon's, Freida gaped. Orveon shifted away and she drew her sword as tiny guards advanced all around her.

"Pik-kow!" the monster king said. Hundreds of monsters poured into the throne room at their monarch's call. Monsters opened their jaws wide to bare large fanged teeth. They lifted their hands to reveal knife-length claws.

"At them Freida!" Orveon said from beside her. "I will help you fight them this time!" Back to back, the two fought and slashed at the tide of small but vicious monsters. Orveon used magic spells, while Freida used her sword. This time, instead of glowing bright with lightening, the sword smoldered with flame. At long last, the tide of monsters stemmed and Freida panted to catch her breath.

"Wow, that's a lot of monsters!" observed Orveon. "Well, don't feel too badly about it, Freida. Let's get what we came here for."

"The armor?" Freida asked.

"Yes, and my brother's weapons, too!" Orveon said. They tromped forwards to find a little circular room filled with gold. Inside it was a treasure chest stuffed with the Valkyrie's' armor.

Orveon's brothers reclaimed what once was theirs. They made their way back to their boat to find a monster in a hat attaching a scrap of paper to the prow of their boat.

"What?" Orveon said snatching the paper from the boat to read it. "A parking ticket?!" One of Orveon's brothers snatched the monster up by the scruff of his robe. It quickly wrote something down on a sheet of paper and tore it off for Orveon to read.

"You wouldn't hit a monster with glasses?" Orveon read out loud. "Well, I guess not!" Everyone jumped in their boat and began to row away.

"So Freida," said Orveon when they had come to a newer, better island. "I know I promised you some sheep but my brothers are going to open a gate. I need to be getting back home, too. But I hate to leave you stranded here. Would you like to come and see Valhalla for a tiny bit?"

"Well, if a tiny bit means not dying and then going back home to the world of the living, okay," said Freida. "I'd be a treat!"

"Great!" said Orveon. Excited, the Valkyrie threw open a gate. Orveon swooped Freida up and flew through a ring of glowing golden light. "Come!" said Orveon grasping Freida's hand in his own and lifting it high. "You have proven yourself a capable warrior. Let us go and ask Odin for permission to marry."

"Wahhh?!" Freida paled. "You still want to go through with that?!"

"A vow is a vow is it not? Let us ask, dear Freida," said Orveon. Hand in hand with Freida, he led the way to Odin's Hall.

"Hello?" said Orveon as he cracked open a door. He knelt before a one-eyed man as large and tall as pillar. And owl perched on the edge of his wooden throne. "I have come to ask for your blessing," Orveon bowed. He explained all the glorious deeds Freida had done. Fight harpies. Slay Jotun. Defeat a legendary sea monster. Exterminate monsters. Save Valkyries from a cursed seal. But Orveon drew his head back in surprise as Odin's reply amazed him.

"No!" Odin said sternly. "You say this girl is a Viking warrior. But tell me, girl, was your father a Viking?"

"Ah, no," Freida flushed. "He was a Roman sailor."

"You see?" said Odin sorrowfully. "It is impossible for her to stay here. She belongs to a different deity. You must return this girl to the world of the living, Orveon, to live out the remainder of her mortal time."

"Ah," Orveon said sadly. "As you wish."

Orveon flew back through the portal to the living world. This time, he exited far above the island nation that had always been Freida's home and sailed amongst the low-lying clouds. Orveon clung to Freida and pressed her against his chest firmly.

"Freida," Orveon grumbled out. "There's something I want to tell you. I… I love you Freida. And if there is a way for us to be together, would you be okay with that?"

"I….I…. Well, I guess so!" Frieda mumbled out. Her face grew bright red with embarrassment.

"Okay! That's great!" said Orveon with a smile. Before Freida could open her mouth to protest, he flew them below the clouds and tossed Freida into a volcano. But Freida found herself being pulled out of the volcano by Orveon by one hand.

"You jerk!" Freida raved angrily. She no longer needed Orveon's help to fly. She floated. "You killed me!"

"Don't worry!" Orveon said with a saucy grin. "I am a Valkyrie after all! I get to choose which souls go to Valhalla after death!"

"Are you trying to say you're exploiting a loophole?" Freida griped.

"Yep!" Orveon grinned before dragging them both through a portal into Valhalla. They emerged by a banquet table stocked with food and overflowing flasks of mead.

"Hello everyone!" Orveon chirped. "I'm back!"

"Ooh, women Valkyrie do exist!" Freida gaped at small crowd of ravishing beautiful, tranquil, ethereal beings. She eyed their flawless complexion and long, frizz-less hair with envy.

"Who's this you've brought with you, Orveon?" one the women Valkyrie asked in a deeply resonating voice.

"A very special friend of mine!" Orveon smiled. They landed next to the table stocked with food and mead.

"Here, Frieda, have some bread! And there's venison roast! And all the other food you could ever want to eat!" smiled Orveon, passing Freida a bowl.

"Ohh!" said Freida. Unthinkingly, she crunched into the bread, then downed her fill on meat and sweets. Orveon poured her a drink from a flask of mead.

"See, isn't this place great?" Orveon asked.

"Yeah!" Freida grinned. She swung her hips and began to dance. "Ha-ha-ha!" Orveon joined her in her laughter.

Five celestial days later, Orveon and Freida were awakened from their groggy, hung-over-sleep by stern-looking, older women Valkyries. They marched Orveon and Freida all the way the throne room of Odin, god of the Vikings himself.

"Orveon, what have you done," Odin said sternly from his wooden throne. "You have stolen this woman's appointed time on earth. You must be punished for what you have done."

"I understand," said Orveon bowing his head.

"And you, child come here," said Odin speaking to Freida. "I can not bring back the body you have lost. But you must live out your appointed years. Your soul will replace that of a raven, and so shall you live, until you pass. But all of your memories of being human will remain."

"Very well," said Freida bowing to the god of the Vikings.

Freida awoke as tiny, glossy, black raven hatching from her egg. She struggled to kick aside the chalky, fragmenting shell she had born of. And and she struggled to her feet, the memories of her life swirled in her head. Anger filled her as well as love.

"Why did Orveon do this to me?!" Frieda raved. "Why must I live as this? Why does Odin punish me with my memories?"

Freida thought it better to have not remembered at all. She anguished over Odin's reasoning as she grew from a chick into a young bird. As soon as she could fledge, Freida flapped free and far away from her nest. She flew to her old master's hut on the top of his mountain to see if her memories of being human were true. The old man was laying on his sickbed. He turned to see Frieda as a raven standing in his doorway, regarding him curiously.

"So the ravens have come to eat me already, huh?" the old man said. "Oh, well. At least when I die, I will no longer be bothered by that hopeless apprentice of mine, Freida!" the old man spout. Freida ruffled her feathers with rage.

"Stupid old man! I should peck his eyes out!" she raged. But she flew away instead.

Freida built a nest on the roof of her old master's house after he had died. One day, as Freida landed on the post of a fence, she spotted another raven amid the glossy leaves on a beleaguered old pear tree. It dropped its mouth open in a caw. But in her mind, it spoke a name she had never thought to hear again.

"Freida?" the raven in the tree crooned to her from his perch. "It's me, Orveon."

"Orveon?" Freida wondered aloud in her raven's voice. A startled caw rattled in her own throat. "What are you doing here?" Orveon stared firmly at her from his perch.

"This is my punishment. I must live in the form of a raven until your soul passes from this world to the next."

"Oh," said Freida. "I am sorry. But then again you deserved it! You threw me into a volcano! Thanks to you, I'm turned into a bird!" Freida cawed fiercely at Orveon. But then she relaxed on her perch on the fencepost.

"Yes, I deserve it," said Orveon. "And I am sorry. But if you can forgive me, I have something selfish to ask of you. Live with me Freida, for as long as you live." Freida hesitated a long moment. So many heavy emotions fluttered about her human soul. Then she fluttered her wings and stretched herself upright on her post.

"Very well," Freida said. She dropped free of her post to fly freely into the air. Orveon took wing and followed after her.

The years past. Orveon and Freida lived as ravens. Together, they raised mny nestfuls of of chicks until their children had spread all over the vast island. Orveon never seemed to age a day. But Freida grew old. One day, she lay down on a patch of earth in a warm, sunny field and shut her eyes.

Freida found herself being called to then, in a soft, warm voice.

"Mother raven, mother raven," a Valkyrie called softly. She stroked Freida's back as she cradled her in her hands.

"Where am I?" said Freida opening her eye to the haloed light.

"You are in Valhalla," said the female Valkyrie with a gentle smile. "But it must hurt you, what has happened to you. You have left behind your mate in the other world, and a nestful of chicks unfledged. You must worry for them."

"Yes," said Freida stirring in the Valkyrie's softly glowing hands. "It is painful."

"Then you may go to them," said the Valkyrie with a gentle smile. "Wear this red string around your leg and fly as hard as you can. If you fly with all your might, it may be that you may reach the other world and reunite with your mate."

"Yes," said Freida thinking more as the bird than the human. She got up from the Valkyrie's hands, ruffled her feathers, and flew, diving down deep into a hole through which she could see the clouds. A brilliant, golden, celestial light surrounded her at first, but then as she dove, flapping with all her might, Freida thought that the sky turned a more familiar shade of blue. She spotted her old mountain home below her.

"I must reach it," Freida thought to herself. "I must return home." Freida flapped her wings with all her might, but as she did, it felt as if something was preventing her from moving forward. She fought against the celestial light that pushed her back as effectively as a gale of wind might.

As she fought, the red string behind her trailed wider and wider. Freida dipped her head lower and flew as hard as she couldn against some invisible force that was restraining her, and just like that the string on her foot unraveled to a banner streaming behind her, continuing on to eternity. Freida could see Orveon on the ground beside the old pear tree now, only he wasn't in his raven from now. He was Valkyrie again. He held his arms outstretched and waited for her. Freida flapped her wings fiercely to reach the ground and like a crystal breaking, she too, broke from a crow to woman again, but this time she was not a brunette but a woman with a Valkyrie's raiment of white and gold. Freida flew gently down into Orveon's outstretched arms. He snugged his arms around her.

"Orveon?" Freida wondered in awe. "What has happened?'

"You have proven yourself worthy of being a Valkyrie," said Orveon. Freida's eyes snapped to the roof overhead. She had not forgotten.

"But the children!" Freida gaped. But Orveon kicked off from the ground so that they both floated high beside the nest on the roof. Orveon snapped his fingers, and just like that, the half-grown chicks in their nest turned to gold began to fly on steady wings.

"These four will be your familiars from now on," said Orveon moving one of their golden, glittering chicks from his finger to Freida's. "And now, these four shall follow us to live in Valhalla."

"Valhalla?" Freida said. She nestled her head against Orveon's chest, wondering in the glory of it.

"Yes, we should return home. My bride," said Orveon with a smile that transfixed Freida. And so off they flew, to live in Valhalla, the world of the Valkyries. But many of their children, the mortal ravens, lived on in the lands filled with both snow and green.


End file.
